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Fun with Titles and I Do My Own Contest!

lisayee has a contest on her blog that caused me to spend way too much time amusing myself, while I worked to craft worthy entries.

I'll copy and paste her rules:

1. Think of a title from a book.

2. Change the FIRST LETTER of ONE of the words to make it into a whole new title.

3. Then add a sentence describing the new book.

As an example, here's my winning entry:

1. Book -- OLD YELLER

2. Changed to -- OLD KELLER

3. Sentence -- Deaf, dumb blind girl gets rabies and has to be shot.

Lisa's contest is for children's/middle grade/young adult books.

I wrote three, then went on to molest a bunch of other titles.

Goy Proof
A sci-fi fan and straight-A teenager works hard to avoid Gentile entanglements before realizing that love can be found in many faiths.

Cooking for Alaska
Pudge earns his nickname by preparing hot meals for the free spirited Alaska.

Vittle Women
A timeless classic about the March sisters and Marmee, who insist upon showing up at their neighbors’ homes with victuals.

The Mound of the Baskervilles
The thrilling Sherlock Holmes tale of murder, madness, and baseball.

One Hundred Bears of Solitude
Magical realism in a Latin American town full of reclusive bears.

Mess of the D’urbervilles
Interminable Victorian novel about lust, betrayal, and untidiness.

Done with the Wind
Epic saga of one woman’s loves, losses, and irritation with weather during the Civil War and Reconstruction.

The Kite Punner
A young Afghan boy loves flying kites and making up puns. No one gets hurt or dies, and they all live happily ever after on his contest winnings from writing advertising jingles.

The Jive People You Meet in Heaven
Touching story of one man’s awakening in heaven, and his growing horror at the realization that he must spend all eternity listening to nothing but jazz.

If you come up with some good titles, post them here, and after a few days, I'll choose a winner.

No, there won't be a panel of unbiased judges.

Yes, it will just be me, with my decision based upon whatever whim takes me that day.

But I will send you something.

Hmm. What?

I don't know.

Something fun.


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Jan. 8th, 2007 04:58 pm (UTC)

Hee, those are so good! :D When I first read the rules I was like, "what?? How is anyone supposed to do that?" But you rocked this challenge hard. XD You'd better win!!!

Unfortunately, I have no witty titles to contribute. But good luck to everyone else!

P.S. The last one is my favorite. Jive people in heaven . . . heeheehee.
Jan. 9th, 2007 03:39 am (UTC)
Haha! Thanks.

I can't help chuckling over the jive people, too, even though you're not supposed to laugh at your own jokes.

I'm simple that way.
Jan. 8th, 2007 05:44 pm (UTC)
I esp. like done with the wind...
Jan. 8th, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC)
These are the ones I did for Lisa Y:

OUR ONLY GAY AMELIA: This spunky heroine doesn't want to listen to her parents and become a "proper young lady" ... but she wouldn't mind meeting one!

GETTING BEAR TO BABY: Willa Jo Dean, one week shy of her 13th birthday, gives Baby tainted water at a carnival, then feeds the corpse to a marauding bear.

SOY PROOF: A teen film enthusiast gets involved with a vegan genius, and the sparks fly!

CREAMLAND: Why do so many girls fall into abusive relationships with milkmen - and what keeps them there?
Jan. 9th, 2007 01:05 am (UTC)
HOOKING FOR ALASKA: Pudge Halter will do anything to get the attention of wild girl Alaska... anything.

HOW I HIVE NOW: Daisy moves to London to learn the beekeeping trade with her cousins, until their idyllic world is turned upside down by the Honey Wars.

MOOSE GIRL: Would-be princess must become a moose-tender in order to survive.

THE FIXED-UP CHAMELEON: A colourful lizard inadvertantly insults a matchmaker and ends up on the date from hell!

JEEZUS AND RAMONA: Ramona learns - the hard way - that she mustn't take the Lord's name in vain.
Jan. 9th, 2007 03:41 am (UTC)
Jan. 9th, 2007 03:41 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm so glad you decided to play! I had a feeling you would shine at this.
Jan. 8th, 2007 07:39 pm (UTC)
and on the adult side:

MY SISTER'S BEEPER: Genetically engineered twins keep in touch via outmoded technology.

IN MOLD BLOOD: Famed reporter blows lid off of mold spore outbreak in one Kansas farmhouse.

LICKED: The Wicked Witch of the West ditches her broom in favour of a job at the Tootsie Pop Factory.

THE BEAR OF MAGICAL THINKING: Joan Didion gets remarried to a world-famous Russian dancer... who just happens to be a BEAR!

SNOW BLOWER AND THE SECRET FAN: Ancient Chinese wisdom passed between women via specially designed snow blowers.
Jan. 9th, 2007 03:43 am (UTC)
I've been careful not to give in to my urge to defile The Joy Luck Club.
Jan. 9th, 2007 03:49 am (UTC)
Jan. 11th, 2007 01:19 am (UTC)
I want to play!

To Bill a Mockingbird

A small town lawyer argues for justice, fairness, and the right to charge birds legal fees.

The Magic Three House (Series)

Jack and Annie have a huge falling out. They decide one house isn't big enough for their tumultuous sibling rivalry.

A Million Little Nieces

Memoir of a drug-addicted man and his possibly exaggerated family tree.
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