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New Year's Resolution: The 6-Week Review

"Think before you speak."

That was my New Year's resolution.

I'm worried that the mesh in my thought-filter is getting stretched too thin ... holes are developing that are big enough for truly bizarre and offensive chunks of verbage to fall through.

Oh, who am I kidding? I've been striving all my life to watch what I say. And failing that, I've been dealing all my life with the consequences of my poorly-calibrated censor. Maybe it's a futile attempt. Maybe we just keep saying more and more outrageous things as we age ... until we finally reach the Crabby Old Codger phase of life, when it's expected.

So. To review:

1) Recently said to boss one afternoon: "Don't talk to me for the rest of the day."
2) Recently said to co-worker in ladies' restroom: "I'll come see you in a minute and we can talk without me urinating."
3) Told male co-worker about trip to Victoria's Secret to buy lingerie - first time in about 15 years. I guess it was such a milestone event I felt compelled to share it.
4) Disparaged the President in new online writers' group.

Those are just the highlights.

Many flippant and fleeting faux pas flee my lips each day.