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I Love the English Language

Getting ready for work and school this morning, Cole said, "I'm going to take my stuffed penguin to school today."

Me: (distracted) What? Why?
Cole: Because E is going to bring his stuffed penguin.
Me: Oh. I'm going upstairs to get dressed. Finish your cereal.
Cole: (thoughtfully) He doesn't have a name, though.
Me: Huh. Come brush your teeth when you're finished.
Cole: Would you help me think of a name?
Me: (knowing whatever I suggest will be rejected) Sure.

(Five minutes later)

Cole: So did you think of a name?
Me: Yes, I did! How about Penderwick?
Cole: No.
Me: Okay, I guess you'll have to think of one.
Cole: (brushes teeth)
Me: (tries not to poke eye out with mascara wand)
Cole: I think I'm going to call him Pecker.
Me: Pecker?
Cole: Yeah! Pecker the Penguin.
Me: (moves from dismay to secret glee) Well, honey ... I have to tell you: the word 'pecker' is a slang word for ... (pauses for comedic effect) ... penis.
Cole: (laughs loud and long) (when he can finally breathe again): Peeenis???!!!
Me: Yep. It's true.
Cole: My penguin's name is Penis??? (more cracking up)
Me: No ... no ... honey, you're going to have to choose a different name.
Cole: Wait till I tell E that the word 'pecker' means penis!
Me: Um, well ... honey ... no, it's okay to joke around with Dad and me about those things, but it's not okay at school.
Cole: (whispers) Can I tell M?

What do you want to bet that every kid in his class learned a new word today?

Comments

lkmadigan
Mar. 7th, 2006 09:43 pm (UTC)
Hey, I'm just fulfilling my duty as Keeper of all Slang, Euphemism, Offensive, and Non-Offensive Definition Needs!